dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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