HIV tests are more positive than that guy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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