Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize