in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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