i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I could fuck to npr.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
