wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
