morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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