yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
