I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
