I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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