so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
