I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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