end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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