no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You smell like stripper and shame
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
