maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
