Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
