I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize