my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
