just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize