we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
