Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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