You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize