There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
