True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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