weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
