whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
