Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
vagina is talking i cant
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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