hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
