Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
