Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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