well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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