i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
