Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
