this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dicks are not precious.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
