So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
