At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
