i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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