Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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