Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
