I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sobbing to NWA
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
