Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
