Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
