I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize