So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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