And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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