There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
