You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
