Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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