Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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