Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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