I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I would ride that face into the sunset
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
