Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
