Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
