I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
