have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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