Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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