so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
