i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
