don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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