if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
