Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
