Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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