You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
