grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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