Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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